Top Man Rules for Relationships or Dating a Man

deluxsauce photo shoot

 

 

MAN RULES

WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES’ FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON’T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE…

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ‘NOTHING,’ WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE…REALLY.

1.. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH…

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN – TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

Smile in memory of yourself

 

J

Just smile once more today

 

How do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be the person who never seemed to  smile, or smiled all the time. Did you know by putting a smile on your face, 99% of the people you come across, will have a positive feeling from your smile. The other 1% are just having a shitty day and nothing can help them, but if you tack on a great personality to that smile, you can change a lot.

You don’t even have to have direct contact with someone. If a person sees you smile at another person, or you greet people as you walk past them with a positive attitude, the people who are observing the situation, will also experience your happiness, just from your smile.

To wave with a smug look on your face, vs one with a smile will make a world of difference.  If you are the 1% who just so happen to be having a shitty day, deal with it, know it will pass and things will go back to the way you want them, but if your still pissy, go look into a mirror, see your anger, and then smile. Keep smiling, until you become conscious of your face and the muscles you are using to make this new pose with your cheeks. You now released endorphins into your body, that will help you cope with the shittiness, and if you keep on smiling, pretty soon, your problems seem to not have that great of an effect on you, and your mind will be somewhat at peace for you to enjoy the day, and maybe who knows, YOU may now make someone smile today.

America vs Egypt

 

 

Came across these two photos in the same week of current events. It struck me at how similar they are with opposite meanings.

Two great examples of similar expressions on opposite ends of the word from each other. Celebrate

With opposite meanings worlds apart, behind the hand raising.Fight for freedom

These photos were both published on MSNBC Week in Photos. America celebrates while Egypt is still fighting for freedom.

 

7 DJ Facts in the Top 10

deluxsauce.com

I don’t just play music, anyone can do that. I scan the room and feel peoples energy, then I know what they wanna feel.

 

Just spent 2.5 hours getting new music and wanted to share 7 thoughts… about being a DJ

You wanna be a DJ? Here are some facts:

1. Everyone thinks their a DJ these days, only few realize it’s about reading the crowd, and not them.
2. Because of the above, good luck getting paid what you want, unless you are in a market that is forever in your favor if your good, and even then, good luck unless you got 1mil followers.
3. It’s not all about the shows and clubs. You have to spend countless of hours getting music, and depending on your internet connection downloading may take a while. Be thankful though… 10yrs ago, you were forced to drive somewhere and BUY music.
4. It’s expensive, but to travel as a dj is super easy. Buy what you need, put it all in a large backpack, and rock a show like you see in the below picture. Laptop, NS6, Akai Midi Keyboard. With the right software and know how, you’re killing it baby!
5. Be prepared to meet some cool people, and especially some strange ones. If you’re playing for the people, you will attract those people, and some will wanna to you to talk to you…. badly… have fun with this one.
6. If your playing a club, or a bar, you may or may not have security. The above people from #5 do not always realize you are working, need to pay attention, listen to music, and not talk to them. Remember to be kind and gentle, most peoples sensitivity blinds proper judgement and the ability to just tell you what they want. Some people actually take 5 sentences to tell you to play a Sean Paul Song….
7. If your a Real DJ, you can Feel people. That’s why some you talk to, and some you don’t. Thats why you stop the music in front of a packed room moving to your beats, and feel all their energy shift to you. You then drop a big tune and they go nuts, and then who cares about #2, ( getting paid what you want ) it’s shit now a days anyways… ( number 2 that is ).

What is your Carbon Footprint looking like? What are you using once today?

I have traveled all over the world and by doing so, it has made me very aware of what my carbon footprint looks like. I am so thirsty, I stop in a store to get that bottle of water to quench my thirst, and in 5 seconds, the bottle is empty, I am still kind of thirsty, and now I have this empty plastic bottle that is going to probably stay empty and on this earth a lot longer than my desire for water. Do this every day, and you are responsible for 365 empty bottles.

Now throw in you soda and High Fructose Corn Syrup drinkers and your are looking at several bottles a day, just being used give you 8 big gulps of fluid. To satisfy your thirst and your mind that is telling you, you need that fluid.

Now throw in all the other stuff you buy and use on a daily bases, food. You get it to-go, and you get a styrofoam container and a plastic bag. Both will out live most animals here on earth. And you took that bag to carry your food home, when it would have fit just fine in your hand. ( no bag needed ).

I am talking about this, because it is ALWAYS on my mind. I am always aware and conscious of what I am doing and what its effects may be. I am renting in Costa Rica right now, and after living here for 6 months, I have to say I am an expert and reducing waste. I produce about one small garbage bag of garbage a month. How do I do this? I am not buying a ton of packaged foods. I buy big 5 gallon containers of water to fill up my smaller bottles that I carry with me places. That alone has reduced my carbon footprint by 75%. When I get plastic, It gets recycled, and so on, but what really brought this to my attention is this. I went to the beach the other day and I walked past my garbage can that was now so full, the lid would not stay on. Why was it full? Because I had two Americans, a man and a woman, come down and rent out the other house on the property for 4 days. In that 4 day period, they were able to produce more trash than I am able to in 4 months.

I am not telling anyone what to do here. I am just asking that you step back, and just take a look at how your actions effect the world around you. Justin Timberlake did a concert once and added up what his carbon footprint was for that 1 concert. He then took his own money and planted trees in that town to offset that footprint and try to bring in more balance.

What are you using once today?

Water Drops in Whistler

A quote from Henry Ford in 1922

“It is well enough that people of the Nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution tomorrow morning”.

This is why I canceled my credit cards and only have one for emergencies that is kept at a zero balance at all costs!

This is why I worked hard, saved my money and decided to take a few years off from working. It made no sense to me that all this money was being taken out of my paychecks and going somewhere where it probably was not helping anything.

My thoughts, if you owe a friend money, pay them back right away. They lent it to you because you are their friend and they trust you. If you owe the government money… well they will try to make your life hell, but they don’t pay back their debt, and if they do, it is barely 1%, so why not, as a citizen of that government, you only pay back 1%. Or none at all?

It’s a decision only you can make. Are you going to stand up and let your voice be heard, or go bust your ass at three jobs just to live on what the government decides to let you keep after taxes….

If my body is my temple, I now declare myself tax exempt!

 

Karma

We all know she can be a B%&#h so why mess with her? Why be an asshole? This post goes out to my old landlord. The guy cheating his so called friend so I could get the new “Friend” hook up. Only to get Robbed of $600 while away with only the “Landlord” having the keys to my place, and nothing was broken into…. Hummmmm…….

Then it was ” hey you have 3 days to move out ” my reply was okay… that sucks…. I just bought a bunch of food, you could not have told me sooner”? no sorry I forgot he says… Well it looks like I got a lot of food to eat I say and he just says yep….

Then I see him 2 days later and he asks if the power is on… I say yes why? He says he did not pay the power yet because I did not pay the rent yet….. WTF??? Are you kidding me? How am I going to eat the food i just bought if I have no power????

And just like that you lost a Friend, and a renter, and probably created a karmic chain that will not end well.

 

Don’t be a Dick!

more reasons why surfers are bad ass

we go out when no one else will.

When the water is cold and we don’t have a wetsuit, we will still paddle out for one wave.

We swim with sharks that can eat us and jelly fish that can paralyze us.

We deal with assholes hogging waves

We deal with tourists ruining a good one.

We walk barefoot

We party hard, but go to bed early to catch that dawn patrol set.

 

feel free to comment and add to the list of what makes you a bad ass surfer

 

Just your thoughts can start a Revolution….

Dr. Claude Swanson: MIT Grad and applied physics consultant for lots of big people….

Our Western culture has taught us that thoughts don’t matter. If each one of us goes around carrying around anger and resentment, the Western belief is that it has no direct effect on the world. As long as we refrain from overt violent actions, the present belief is that no harm will be done to others. But in view of present evidence, this can no longer be maintained. We are truly tied to one another, and even our thoughts affect one another. James Twyman has led several worldwide synchronized group prayers for peace. Those prayers had measurable effects and even altered the physics of the quantum background and the level of chaos worldwide for a time [ as discovered in the Global Consciousness Project ]… He observes the following: “… conflict in the world is the result of conflict within us. We project that feeling into the world because we are not ready to accept that we are the cause, and therefore the solution, to that conflict. Thus wars have raged in the world since the beginning of time because we are not ready to deal with the conflict where it really is – within us.

 

Be part of the revolution…. you really have no choice :)

Lessons In Love by DeluxSauce

Lessons in Love by Delux… taken from the book temporarily titled… “Electricpuzzy” By Jeremy Frisk

“Ho’s…. I could get them all day, but I am more of a shovel kind of guy. Shovels dig holes and build foundations that last. Hoes just tend to a temporary garden that barely lasts a season unless you give it a ton of attention. Can anyone bring me a shovel please?”